Are You "Marriage Material"?
Why do men propose? Is it because they are dating supermodels? Do they prefer housewives? The fact is that men are much more intelligent and complex than this. Their motives when looking for a mate are very developed and practical. Let's take a look at the top qualities men look for in potential wives.
First off, let's look at qualities to avoid. At all costs, avoid playing the diva. While men may be briefly fascinated by the high maintenance, princess types, they tire of them quickly and would never think of sticking around for the long run. Don't rely on temper tantrums to get your way. To butcher a metaphor, don't be like the "princess" crying wolf; if you lose your temper too often, your tantrums will stop having the desired effect. Then you won't be able to use this precious resource when you really need it, like when he really isn't treating you with respect.
Along those same lines, avoid being selfish. Don't be self-absorbed. Be kind to him and to strangers. Guys might like self-absorbed women for a couple dates, but if you want to elevate yourself to potential marriage material, let him see your kindness towards him and others.
Among the personality characteristics you should cultivate is that of leadership. Men want women they can respect and trust to join them in marriage. Many men actually want you to take charge, but it must be done in a respectful manner. Don't treat him like a child. Be just, kind, and compassionate in your leadership. This makes you look like a potential wife who can respectably manage a family.
Be supportive of his career. Many men identify themselves by what they do for a living, and how hard they work at it. Ambition and career are important to men, and career advancement takes up a lot of his thought. You may occasionally feel resentful of the fact that his career is occupying his time and energy that could be spent on YOU instead. But putting your interests at odds with his career interests will only hurt you.
He needs to see you as a loving support of his goals, not as a hindrance. If this is a hard pill for you to swallow, then take a look at the careers of the guys you date; try to find a man who has already achieved some stability in his career. (But don't fool yourself - most likely he will be spending a lot of mental energy on keeping this comfortable position secure.)
Don't be afraid to be spontaneous. Guys like certain amount of regularity in their work and homes, but nothing impresses them like someone who can shake things up a bit without threatening that security. Don't spend every evening cooking; join him and his friends for a night out. That way he'll be less likely to want to go drinking with the guys and leave you at home. Don't say no to a sudden weekend getaway or especially a spur-of-the-moment afternoon tryst.
Show him compassion and acceptance. More likely, you know much more about your man than anybody else does, including his own mother. You know this because you listen when he talks and because your female memory is deep with the knowledge of his past and present friends, fears, and joys. Use this information to comfort and soothe him when he is upset, not as a weapon against him when you are fighting. Don't choose an argument as the time to bring up that thing he did back in college. If he sees that you use these pieces of information against him, he will be less likely to confide in you at all.
Accentuate your sexuality. Don't worry; it is not necessary to be a supermodel or a contortionist to keep him happy in this aspect. Your guy wants a woman who enjoys having sex with him, someone with whom he feels comfortable. Make sure you don't let your sex life slip into monotony or abstinence; you want to give him no reason to look elsewhere to fulfill his sexual desires.
Be comfortable with his family and friends. Seeing you fit in with his crowd will impress him and make him feel at ease. This does NOT mean you have to act the exact way everyone he knows does. In fact, it will impress him if you stand out a bit among all the other people he knows. So feel free to express your opinions and personality when among his people, but keep it respectful. What he wants from you is acceptance of his family and close friends. You don't have to blend in, but make sure you don't stir up trouble.
Don't make him spend all his money on you. More likely than not, you've got your own money, and quite possibly you make more than him. Show him that you are adept at dealing with finances. He might think twice about proposing to a woman who would be likely to lead him into financial ruin.
Show that you can be a mother. This is crucial, whether he says he wants children or not. The truth may be that he doesn't want children now, but knows he may change his mind as he gets older. Showing a dislike of children or mothering will definitely be a turnoff for him. At the same time, don't push children on him. Just show that you are open to the idea and will make a good mother when the time comes.
Displaying these qualities will put you in a good position. Not only will your man view you as a good possibility for a lifemate, but you will be a capable, compassionate mate with whom he equally shares in power, love, and responsibility. Not only are you more likely to get the wedding ring, but your marriage will be off to a good start when it happens. But don't forget the other edge to the question of marriage material: do you think HE will make a good husband? Stay tuned for more on this issue...
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Or To the next article Reading the Signs: Interpreting Guys Body Language
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